Recently, I went to my future mother-in-law’s college graduation. She, at 54, completed her Bachelor’s in Human Resources, with 90% of her classes being online. This woman also had to endure lots of stress, including the death of her oldest son, lots of babies (including ours, lol), and working a job that overworks her and underpays her massively. I was on the verge of tears for her. Tears of joy. She did it, and she is considering her Master’s.
As you know (or may not), I didn’t finish college due to getting mentally ill. Even though my mental status is a lot better than it was 11 years ago, I haven’t been back. Money was always an issue. I barely got anything for financial aid when I went the first time, so I was forced to take out lots of loans and naturally, you have to pay those back. Now? Money is still an issue, but there’s the time factor now. I’m working and barely have time for Rydia anymore, let alone splitting time 3 ways.
So I pretty much have to give up on my schooling dream…temporarily anyways.
Which brings me to my second point. I do like my job. It’s retail, yes, but I helped build a store from 4 bare walls to merchandise on every freaking shelf. They’re going to have a friends and family night on Sunday, and I get to show off to my dork and in-laws. And tell them that I helped build this shiz. Which is rewarding in its way.
But yet…I’m not 100% happy. It’s retail. It pays the bills, but doesn’t soothe my heart. So what soothes my heart? Making things. Writing. Coding websites. Being creative. I’m a creative person by nature, and I want to actually do that. And, ya know, working in your pajamas is nice too. And…the less people I interact with in a week, the better. People drive me nuts. Hell, my fiance drives me nuts.
I want something more. I want to make things.
So, I shall.
I have a project (on top of a couple of others) that I’m going to be working on. I am branding myself as a freelance web designer and writer. This will allow me to work out my creative juices, and possibly (eventually) make some money off it. Is this to say that this will be a complete replacement of getting a college degree? No, but I’m also tired of not being happy either. What makes Nat happy? Other than Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners complete with baked ziti and mac and cheese, creating.
I won’t say much else about this project, but know that I am going to work on it after my Crestfallen overhaul and in tandem with a new layout here. Any chance I get, I’m creating. So let me create for you. Let Nama make things.