Dear Mother Nature,
Winter doesn’t officially start until Saturday. So what in the holiest of holy hells is this bullshit? Granted, this is mini compared to what can happen in Michigan, but did you really have to shit on us this early? Really? I mean, couldn’t you have given more time for me to get a pair of interview shoes that have traction so that I don’t slip and bust my ass during my interview tomorrow? Really?
Has Father Time been holding out on you again? Haven’t you heard of ravaging the fuck out of him? Sometimes a woman’s gotta do that in order not to turn on bitch mode, just saying. Since you wanna start winter this early though, I do have one request. Don’t shit on us in April. That’s it. I’m so over this winter thing as it is, the last thing we need is an extended one.