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A letter to employers

Dear Employers,

I understand you go through ungodly amounts of applications a day to pick out your best candidates, but after applying to over 1000 jobs in the span of the past few years, I’m starting to wonder if your “best candidates” did you a favor to get their positions. If that’s the case, what do I have to do? Show more cleavage? Get on my knees and “beg”? If not, then why the hell won’t you give me a chance? After so many applications, so many resumes, and only getting 5 interviews at best, I’m wondering if someone has it out for me or something.

If it’s my “lack of experience” that throws you off, that’s okay, but see, the thing is I don’t have the experience I need because no one wants to hire me. The experience I do have should be adequate for jobs that monkey can do. I mean, seriously how much experience do I need to operate a cash register that essentially does everything for me once a press a button? Do you need to be a rocket scientist to work at Target? Let me know so I can go back to school for it.

If it’s my tendency to be nervous and on the verge of a panic attack while interviewing, well excuse me for having an anxiety disorder. I’m nervous around anyone that isn’t family or close friends, and even large groups of those makes me uneasy. Isn’t it discrimination to not hire on that basis alone? I mean, if I dress the part, look the part, and don’t act like a ghetto black woman named Shaquanita, then I should be given a chance.

The lack of results that I’m getting from job searching is causing me more stress than I want, especially during the holidays. My hair is falling out. It’s the holidays and I haven’t been able to get any presents for my 2-year-old. At this rate, she’d be lucky if she gets anything from her parents. How do you think this makes me feel? Makes me feel like a failure of a parent to not be able to give my kid the Christmas she deserves.

Just imagine if this was you. Getting nothing but excuse after excuse after applying to numerous jobs as to why they won’t hire you. Wouldn’t you feel like a failure? Wouldn’t you be stressed to hell to the point where your hair falls out in clumps? Wouldn’t you want someone to just give you a chance?

So why won’t you?

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